Yesterday was a brilliant day.
Productive. Rewarding. Worthwhile.
I woke up determined, and went to bed satisfied.
I also called my closest friend from Australia for over an hour.
My fellow New York Aspirer.
For his college course, he had to interview a few people and ask them several meaningful, thought-provoking questions.
One which resonated with me particularly was this...
...what needs to change in the world?
I'll come onto that in a second.
I may have finished my exams, but there is still lots to do.
Lots to work for.
At the moment, it's 9:47am, and so far today has been equally excellent as yesterday.
Undoubtedly, what fuelled me yesterday, and what is fuelling me right now, is that I refocused on my dream.
I broke it down clearly, chronologically and specifically.
Stuff like what neighbourhood I want to rent an apartment in.
What job I'll have.
What salary I'll be earning.
Who I'll live with.
When I'm going to do all this by.
I will live in New York by the end of 2028.
In less than 10 years, less than 3,474 days, less than 83,376 minutes, I'll be there.
This boy from Brighton, England will have made it to The City That Never Sleeps.
That's a promise.
Right now, it's June 28th, 2019. I'm eighteen.
By December 31st, 2028, I'll be twenty-eight.
I'd better get moving.
Breaking down my (biggest) goal was not only inspirational, but it helped me to refocus on the bigger picture.
On my journey.
The positivity it gives me is unbelievable.
So this brings me onto my topic for today.
The opposite of positivity.
Why has complaining become such an ingrained part of our society?
People complain about their job.
People complain about the weather.
People complain about their premium hotel room only having seven pristine, plushly plumped pillows instead of eight.
People complain about anything and everything.
You get the idea.
For me, this relentless pessimism is immensely limiting for both people and society to grow.
How can you feel happy, bliss or fulfilled when all you choose to see in your life are the negatives?
The keyword is choose.
We all make an individual choice each morning whether or not today will be amazing, or whether it will be a struggle.
Yes, problems arise.
Difficult circumstances happen.
But it's how we decide to respond to these circumstances that determines the quality of our days, our weeks, our months, our years, and our lives.
It's a choice.
New York real estate broker Ryan Serhant puts it best here.
Personally, real estate is not one of my biggest passions (although the location of the Serhant Media Group is particularly appealing) but Serhant's positive attitude is something I admire and want to emulate.
Save complaining for when you have something real to complain about.
God forbid, imagine you or a loved one are diagnosed with cancer, and it's life threatening.
Would that not put the trivial things we all complain about on a day-to-day basis into perspective?
The trivial little things that ARE COMPLETELY OUT OF OUR CONTROL.
How can something as serious as cancer even begin to compare to just missing our morning train or bus?
It's normal to feel pissed-off in the moment.
But, instead of letting one negative snowball into several, and then ruin the rest of your day, take a second, re-compose yourself, put a smile back on and get on with things.
(And remember to leave five minutes earlier tomorrow morning to be on time).
If you ever feel as though things in your life aren't going well, remember that some people have it so much worse.
There are thousands of people struggling with poverty, disease and war.
Focus on the positives in your life.
If you really try, you'll see that there are many - large and small - that bring you joy.
I know it.
So do you.
My big ones are my dreams, passions, closest family and friends.
My little ones can be anything, like the moment I get home and my dog excitedly greets me (ears back, tail wagging), or the exhausted but satisfied feeling of a good workout.
If you look around throughout your day, you'll find that the little ones are everywhere.
The big ones are always present, but they are usually less tangible and less obvious.
Everyday, take the time to appreciate them both.
The quality of your life will improve tenfold.
This is something I myself am working on.
I complain.
I let irrelevant things infuriate me.
But I also try to make a conscious effort to see the positive side of things.
My next three weeks will be a test of this.
Tomorrow, I will be getting up at around 3am as me and five friends will be taking the train from Brighton up to London. We will then catch the Eurostar to Amsterdam, kickstarting our post-exam interailing trip in which we travel by train across Europe!
I cannot wait.
I've already mentioned how important cultural enlightenment is to me in another post.
Three weeks travel in seven different countries will be an amazing opportunity to become more so, trying local food, experiences and languages.
But how, you might wonder, will this test my ability to not complain?
Let me explain.
This holiday will be fantastic, no doubt about it.
But, as with any holiday, there will inevitably be times in which me and my friends will be tired, or hot, or hungry.
Carrying huge backpacks in sweltering heat and trying to limit spending where possible makes occasional discomfort unavoidable.
That's fine.
My mantra for these times will be one of relentless optimism.
No matter what happens, or how irritable I might sometimes feel, I will do my absolute best to take a moment, re-compose myself and remember how fortunate I am.
This will make our trip so much more enjoyable not only for me but for my friends as well.
So I urge you to listen to my words today and apply them to your own life.
I know it can be hard.
But you'll soon thank me for it.
Keep persevering and remember that You'll Never Walk Alone.
Until the next time...*
Alex (N.Y.A.)
*P.S. as I'm going away for three weeks, I'm sorry to say that this will be the last post for a while! See you again after July 20th!
Something Extra
By now, you'll have heard a fair bit about my fellow N.Y.A. from Australia.
My childhood friend with whom I was reunited a couple of years ago.
(If you don't know this, get your act together and read my first ever post).
We push each other every single day, even from opposite ends of the globe.
It's this marvellous thing called accountability.
Now, in pursuit of your own dreams, I can't encourage getting yourself an accountability partner enough.
Someone like-minded and ambitious, in whom you can confide your goals (and vice-versa) and motivate each other in pursuit of them.
At the end of each day, before going to bed, me and my friend send each other a message containing everything productive we did in that day.
We've been doing it for a while now, and it has undeniably helped me to push myself and grow.
I don't only feel that I need to get things done for him (as well as for myself) but also seeing the productive things he's done in his day motivates me.
It's a beneficial, equally balanced system I cannot recommend enough.
If my brother from Down Under is reading this right now, I know he'd say the same (isn't that right my fellow Aspirer?)
Here's how we do it:
June 27 - gym workout, college lessons, read two chapters of ____, listened to ____'s podcast, worked at ____ job, etcetera, etcetera
Get the idea?
Good.
Now adapt it to whatever suits you, and implement it as a success strategy.
Watch your days get BIGGER and BETTER as you grow together.
You're welcome.
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