Hello there.
It's been a while since I've posted; my sincerest apologies.
Today's blog is something I think you can use to fuel you, day in, day out.
Something that motivates me MASSIVELY.
The Fear of Unrealised Dreams.
What I want you to do today isn't pleasant.
It ain't pretty.
But it's sobering.
I guarantee it'll make you think long and hard about what you want from your life...
Are you ready?
Picture yourself as an old man or woman, however many years from now, laying on your death bed.
Let's say you're eighty-one (the average life expectancy in the UK).
The doctors have been informing all of your living relatives that the end is near for weeks, and urging them to come and see you.
But no-one has.
Your work colleagues? They don't want to know.
Your old friends? They're too busy.
Your family? There's very few left.
Throughout your life, you took those closest to you for granted, and never really put much effort into your relationships with your loved ones.
Your friends have left you; your parents are gone.
You have no children, just a divorced ex who you never truly loved - and so you didn't make an effort in your marriage - but you weren't brave enough to end your relationship earlier even though you knew it wasn't right.
You finally divorced in your seventies, after years of unhappiness, but never met your perfect partner because it was too late.
So you think back on what you accomplished in life.
A sense of shame overcomes you.
All the days of clocking in at 9am, not really doing much, counting down the hours until lunch, and then clocking out an 5pm flash before your eyes.
Decades of working a job you hated.
A job which brought no excitement, no enthusiasm and no passion to your life.
You simply worked for your boss.
Working to make someone else's dream come true.
Maybe you once had big dreams, but you got distracted by bills, routines and responsibilities.
Maybe you once loved music, or photography, or travel, but you sidelined those passions and hobbies just so you could 'make ends meet'.
The result?
You're left lying alone on your death bed, contemplating your life with overwhelming feelings of sadness, bitterness and resentment.
And then you pass away, gone forever, without leaving behind any sort of legacy bar your will and the sorry affair that your funeral will be.
So much wasted potential.
So many unrealised dreams.
So much regret.
Regret.
It's possibly the word I fear above all others.
There are three types of regrets:
1) Regrets you cannot change (e.g. I regret not cherishing my time with my grandparents more before they passed)
2) Regrets you can fix (e.g. I had an argument with my sister, but I can pick up the phone to call her, apologise and make up)
3) Regrets you can prevent (e.g. I've always wanted to start my own travel page, and knew that if I kept putting it off, it might never happen, so I JUST DID IT*)
With the first type of regrets, you must simply let go.
But the second and third, you must do everything you can to either fix them or prevent them, or they will come back to haunt you in your later life.
That scene I just described to you is my worst nightmare.
I can't imagine much worse than dying with unrealised dreams, with no-one by my side and without any sort of legacy to leave behind.
Each decision you make impacts your life in one way or another.
So every time you feel like you don't want to workout, or you don't want to do something out of your comfort zone, or you don't want to make an effort in conversation with a loved one...
...think about your future self looking back on your choices.
Would this be something that future you would regret, or something they'd be proud of?
Then make the right decision.
HOWEVER...
None of us are perfect all the time; I get that.
If you have made mistakes, or have past regrets, then rather than always thinking 'if only...' it is more important to accept your choices and manage the consequences they bring.
That's what my grandfather from New Zealand told me, when I asked him if he had any unrealised dreams, or things he wishes he'd done when he had the chance.
He also told me all sorts of amazing travel stories and about he met my mum's mother,
He believed it was all destiny.
But destiny only came about because he was willing to put himself out there and try something new, like taking the P&O SS Iberia across stormy seas, and towards The Red Sea (below).
Asking your grandparents - or even parents - if they have any unrealised dreams or things they wish they'd done is a fantastic way of uncovering stuff about them you'd never otherwise know.
Give it a try; the results may pleasantly surprise you...
...but for now, picture your future self, keep working towards your dreams, and remember that You'll Never Walk Alone.
Until the next time...
Alex (N.Y.A.)
Something Extra
I don't like to advertise my own stuff, but today I'm going to.
As you read earlier, I've JUST started my own new Instagram page all about travel and language learning.
And, as you may be thinking after hearing about the adventurous exploits of my Kiwi grandfather, travel is somewhat in my blood.
I live for it.
That's why I started AlexAbroad.
I want to inspire others to travel, encouraging them to learn other languages and embrace REAL culture.
For too long Western people have scoffed at the thought of learning foreign dialects ("Why bother when 'everyone' is learning ours...?") but I want to change that.
To put a stop to the image of Westerners as obnoxious tourists, and start a community of respectful travellers and language learners.
Does this sound like your kind of thing?
If so, go check out my page here, and give it a follow!
If not, no worries, have a great day anyway, and keep Aspiring for a better life.
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